One thing about Greenport, NY. The locals are very hospitable and friendly, but I found that in general, when it came to common sense, they were a few puddins short of a Snack Pack. My theory is that they drink way too much wine, which is something that I can relate to. But, here's what happened when I decided to start Day 2 with a coffee run:
Me to coffee guy: Hi there, I'm ordering 7 coffees.
Coffee guy: Ok, I can handle that.
Me: [handing him two refillable cups] First, I need one iced coffee with milk.
Coffee guy: [handing the cups to the girl next to him] One with coffee and one with milk.
Now, I was thinking that maybe he was just speaking coffee shop lingo. Like when you order two scrambled eggs on toast and the waitress yells "An Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck 'em" to the cook in the back. But, then the girl handed me a cup filled with milk and a cup filled with coffee. The next 20 minutes went something like this: "I need two more iced coffees." "you just ordered two." "Right, I need four altogether" "Ok, get me four more iced coffees!" "Wait! What?". That exchange was how most of the weekend was when we asked for things. It was a weekend-long "Who's on First" sketch.
For example, I was in dire need of a Dunkin Donuts. (I suspect that they may lace their coffee with crack cocaine.) So, I asked the girl at the front desk of the resort if there was one in the area. She gave me some directions, ending with "You'll see it on your right." I drove where she told me to and after about 2 miles of not seeing the Dunkins, I decided to stop and ask someone else. I pulled into a gas station to ask a guy pumping gas, and he pointed in the direction that I had come from and said, "You'll see it on your left." So, I drove back in that direction. After another 2 miles, still no Dunkins. So, I stopped at a 7-11. The cashier pointed in the direction that I had come from and said, "You'll see it on the right." Again, I was completely lost. In driving through the town the fourth time, I saw a shopping center, so I thought to myself...could that be where the Dunkin Donuts is? I pulled into the parking lot, and lo and behold, there is the Dunkin Donuts. I thought that it was funny that out of the three people that I asked, none of them thought to mention that the DD's was in a shopping center. Isn't that like a KEY step in the directions?
Anyway, once you get used to the locals being clueless, the whole North Fork area of LI is a pretty nice place. I'd like to stop and give a shout out to Dan the Bike Guy. How great is this: Basically, you can rent bikes from him for $25-$30 per person. He'll drop them off anywhere and he'll pick them up anywhere. And I have to admit we were a little high maintenance...we didn't tell him that we wanted helmets, he came back to the condo and dropped off the helmets. We forgot to turn in the helmets with the bikes, he came back and picked up the helmets. All with a smile on his face. I definitely recommend renting a bike through him if you're planning on biking through the North Fork. Which I wasn't, but I'll get to that in Part 3.
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