I'm on a roll with my dating stories, so here's another. I've definitely dated sleaze. One, in particular, is a guy that I will call Mr. Writer. After Mr. Writer and I had been dating for a few months, we had the "talk" about being exclusive. The following weekend (and I mean, just two days after the talk), Mr. Writer went on a ski trip with some of his friends. That Saturday night, I received a text from Mr. Writer that said, "I'm watching two girls having sex right now and not joining in. You owe me." I was floored! But, my mother always told me not to jump to conclusions. [Note: Later she told me that this was probably one of those times when jumping was ok.] I told myself that I didn't have all of the facts and I shouldn't skin him alive and throw him into a lemon juice kiddie pool until I knew exactly what happened.
But, the "you owe me" line really got to me. I
owe him? Really? That's like your delivery guy saying, "Well, I forgot your soda, but I did bring your pizza, so you owe me." Or like your investment banker saying, "Well, I lost one million of your dollars, but I was thinking of investing your whole life savings in that money pit, so if you think about it, you owe me." It's like Charles Manson saying, "Well, I robbed that guy's house, but I didn't tell my minions to kill him, so really, he owes me." The text was bad enough, but those three words were just so unbelievably arrogant.
So, I did what any other self-respecting woman would do...I made a flow chart.
After I sent it to him (yes, I sent it to him), he told me he was in the "sort of ok" category. And when he got home, I sort of dumped him.
This is the best one yet!! Love the flow chart and the final punchline....sort of :)
ReplyDeleteThat's sort of great! :P
DeleteOk, a couple of questions. When 2 girls are having sex, most likely they are lesbians so why does Mr. Writer thinks that he can jump in for threesome? If they are not lesbians, why are they having sex in front of him? Did he pay them? Are they trying to seduce him? If I'm taken and I'm watching 2 girls having sex (you'll probably think less highly of me for this) I will not text or call or even want my GF to know about it. Sometimes things are better left not said. The "you owe me" part is gold! I wish I had that arrogance.
ReplyDeleteAll very good questions. I've had a couple of requests for more information...basically, he was in a hot tub with these two girls who started going at it and then they invited him to watch them in their hotel room, and he went. I also think that the reason that he told me is because he's the type of person who enjoys getting a rise out the women that he's dating and seeing what he can get away with. I definitely don't think it was based on honesty!
Delete