Conversations with friends

One of the traits that I admire in others is a sense of humor and as a result, my friends are all hilarious. I was also lucky enough to inherit a sense of humor from my parents. I frequently take note of our conversations so that I can remember them later. Here are a few of my favorites (mixed in with some that were not meant to be funny, but surprised us).

1. Ants and Cockroaches

Me: Do you think it's weird that when I kill ants, I always leave one alive so that he can go back and tell the other ants not to come in my apartment?
Friend: You're talking to a guy who once put a cockroach's head on a toothpick to let it be a warning to all of the other cockroaches.

2. Yay for Monday!

Me: I've had a couple of beers tonight, sorry if I'm not making sense.
Friend: Good for you! What's the occasion?
Me: Monday

3. The Truth about Melly

Me: I feel like I always get the last word in my arguments.
Friend: That's because you argue to the point that the other person thinks, "Ok, so it's either let it go or get arrested for second degree murder..."

4. Tomato/To-mah-to

Friend: We're invited to a homecoming party on Sunday
Me: A homecoming party?
Friend: Yep
Me: A HOMECOMING party???
Friend: (a little less sure of himself) Yep.
Me: Are these people in high school?
Friend: (confused) Nope.
Me: Are you sure that it's not a housewarming party.
Friend: ohhhhhhhh....

5. Good Question

Mom: Do you think that cannibals keep kosher? Like, there's probably a difference between eating someone who just had bacon vs. like, an orthodox rabbi, right?

6. What happens when two deaf people talk to each other

Mom: How was your date?
Me: It was good. I like him. I'm not sure about a future though. He has four kids.
Mom: Ew, he has blackheads?
Me: No, FOUR kids...but why would I care if he had black kids?
Mom: I don't know...it's kind of gross, isn't it?
Me: You have black kids.
Mom: I DO????

7. Eating Habits.

Me: I haven't been to the grocery store since March 2009
Friend: What?? How do you get food?
Me: I'm out to eat all the time, I go to my parents' house, things like that.
Friend: Where do you get your chips and snacks and stuff?
Me: Uh, the liquor store?