Boston, you're my not-so-friendly home!

I love Boston. Truly. I love crossing the Charles River over the Mass Ave bridge on a sunny day. I love being at the Harbor at night and looking toward the lit-up city skyline. I love walking through the streets and watching the neighborhoods change, each of them unique and wonderful.

But, we, Bostonians, have a reputation. I'm guilty of it as well. We don't take kindly to strangers. Our first reaction to a random stranger approaching us and starting a conversation is "why the hell is this person talking to me?" We think they're either a) homeless and panhandling, b) crazy and actually talking to the imaginary man standing next to us, c) lost and looking for directions, or d) weird. Once we've figured out the "why", we have no problem talking to you, even if the answer is "d". But, if you're not used to our initial reaction, you may feel put off and not continue the conversation. Bostonians have a tough time making new friends.

I was thinking about this last Friday. One of my sisters (Stacy) and I went to a preview for the Martha's Vineyard Film Festival which takes place on the island September 6-9, 2012. The preview was in Boston. It was a night of five short films, a reception with wine and appetizers, then a feature film. It was fantastic and I'm thinking about going to the film festival itself. But, back to my night at the movies.

A shortage of seating at the reception compelled Stacy and me to ask if we could share a table with a young couple sitting at a table for four. When they agreed, they made eye contact with us! Now, this is unheard of in Boston. But, their openness led me to begin asking them questions about how they heard about the film festival, etc. Soon we were engaged in lively conversation. They were charming! They had moved from Houston last year (which explains the eye contact). The female member of the couple and I have tons in common. She loves the Boston Ballet and Sixteen Candles is one of her favorite movies. She's very intelligent (a doctor) so she's good at book-learnin', but she also knows quite a bit about pop culture, like me. When we went back into the theater, we sat next to them. We exchanged numbers and hopefully, it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

The whole night got me thinking...it was really easy for me to make that friend. Yet, I've been finding it difficult to meet new people in this city. I've been blaming others for not approaching me. But, it's my own fault. I have made myself completely unapproachable. Eye contact, a smile, a "good morning", a "have a good night"...I need to start doing and saying these things. That's all that it takes. And I also need to remember that the "make new friends" piece of the old adage is just as important as "keeping the old".