Things that went way over my head when I was a kid

While visiting with my mom last weekend, I was feeling a little bit under the weather. So, just like old times, I lay on the couch and let her bring me stuff. While lounging, I caught an episode of Three's Company. It was the one where Jack tries to get Chrissy and/or Janet in bed, and Mr. Furley makes fun of Jack for being "light on his feet", and then there's this huge misunderstanding. You've seen it. Anyway, about five minutes into it, I exclaimed to my mother, "Wow, when I watched this as a kid, I did not get this at all." So, that led me to think about other things that I encountered as a kid that went completely over my head. Here we go:

1.) Three's Company. I was convinced that Jack was just really really friendly.

2.) Paradise by the Dashboard Light. I was never quite sure why Meatloaf was in his car at a baseball game, but I just sang along and went with it.

3.) The entire movie Grease. You know the part in Grease where Rizzo says that she feels like a defective typewriter because she skipped a period and Marty asks her if she's PG? To the ten-year old me, that meant that Rizzo felt broken like a typewriter that skips periods because she and Kenickie french kissed and only kept it PG.

4.) Racism. We all knew that the "n-word" was bad and something that we should never say. But, after lecturing my friends on how bad of a word it is, I would then go off into the cul de sac with my jump rope singing "Chinese Japanese".

5.) Sesame Street. A square-shaped muppet singing "It's Hip to Be Square." Smokey Robinson singing "u've really got a hold on me" to the letter U. The "Beetles" singing "Letter B". Granted, the Children's Television Workshop meant for these things to go over my head. Kids are just supposed to think the songs are fun. They make the parodies for the parents. However, I think that most kids have figured out Sesame Street's schtick by age 9. Most kids.

6.) White Lines (Don't Do It). This one is embarrassing because it's SOOOO obvious! Sugar! Kane! Rock! White lines...what do white lines do? Blow away.... BLOW! I was probably 12 the first time that I heard this song. I knew what cocaine was. I knew it was called blow. I knew that people snorted it in white lines. Hell, in a way, the song even has "Just Say No" written into its title. Yet, I still had no idea what this song was about. I just thought it was catchy.

7.) Dirty Dancing. My favorite movie ever and I had no clue about the storyline. I would watch it on VHS, press rewind, and watch it again right after. But, really, the only line that I understood was "I carried a watermelon" and only because it involved being awkward and saying the wrong thing around boys, something with which I had a ton of experience. A lot of my confusion had to do with historical context. I grew up in a world where abortion was legal. So, I was completely confused about why Penny would trust a guy with a dirty knife and folding table. Also, every scene with Robby...over my head completely. I thought Johnny was the father of Penny's baby until 1996. And why was Baby so mad about the Fountainhead? Yeah...I didn't get that movie at all. But it had dancing. And Patrick Swayze's butt if you paused the VCR in the right place.