I'm bad at juggling.

Having rolled over on my kindle in my sleep and having purchased a book accidentally that I didn't want, I found myself online at 2:30 am on Friday night. I decided while I was up, to check my e-mail and found that I had a message on okcupid, so I logged in to read it.

Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of "Closing Time" by Semisonic? It's a song that's simply about what happens when you're out at a bar and the lights come on and it's closing time at the end of the night. Typically, this commences a mad scramble to find someone to hook up with before you have to leave. Okcupid at 2:30 am is the online version of closing time.

As soon as I logged in, I was immediately bombarded with "hi how are u" messages. I was half-asleep, but still had the wherewithal to cut and paste a standard answer of "I'm good! Listen, I'm not on here to hook up. Just wanted to let you know up front, so you don't feel like you've wasted your time." Most of the guys stopped talking to me after that. But, two guys answered with "That's ok" and continued the conversation. They were both very different. One was 35, had a lot in common with me, in that he loved the Red Sox, new restaurants, and Broadway musicals (in fact, he's in the midst of writing one.) The other, not so much in common. He was 27, rode a pedicab for a living, and a closer look at his profile the next morning revealed that he's obsessed with sex. But, he was also really, REALLY hot.

With Mr. Thirty-Five, I was thinking that I wanted to date him and see what happens. So, I gave him my number to text or call sometime (and also let him know that I was going to the Middle East the next night, if he wanted to meet up). With Mr. Twenty-Seven, I was thinking that he might come in handy at some point, so I gave him my number as well. Then, I logged off and went back to bed.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I got a text from a strange number. And alas, herein lies the problem. I had absolutely no idea which guy it was. I had an entire conversation with this guy, and really enjoyed it. But, here it is on Monday, and I still have no clue if I'm talking to Mr. Thirty-Five or Mr. Twenty-Seven. I was hoping that Mr. Thirty-Five would contact me about the Middle East, and then I would know. If it was a different number, then I would have been texting with Mr. Twenty-Seven. But, he didn't make it to the show. And although, I was talking to the texter throughout the night, I couldn't think of a non-socially awkward way to bring it up.

I have made tentative plans with the texter for this week. If those plans finalize, I'm going to treat it like a game show. "Melly J., who will walk through that door?? You could win a fabulous dinner for two, a possible second date, and a night of ZERO EMBARRASSMENT. But, make the wrong choice, and you will sadly go home with the consolation prize: loneliness."

I guess the conclusion that we can all come to is that whether I win or lose, the outcome will be based on pure luck, because clearly, I suck at this game.