The Importance of Being Punctual

Punctuality is an interesting thing. There are some people that don't mind when others are late and others who count it as their number one pet peeve. I think that a lot of it has to do with how late someone is. If you're waiting for the person for five minutes and they're most likely stuck in traffic and you're just kind of chilling at the bar while you wait, you're probably less irritated than, say, if you've been waiting for an hour on the street in front of the bar and they have no excuse and you start to get into the "Maybe they're not going to show up" frame of mind and begin to think that every one must be looking out of their office or apartment window thinking "oh, that poor girl. She's being stood up" and asking their co-worker or roommate, "is she still out there" every ten minutes, and the co-worker or roommate is saying "Yes" with a frown and "Maybe we should bring her some soup or tea or something" and...well, you know.

So, I decided to make a list of when it's ok to be late and when it's absolutely not. Let's start with...

WHEN IT'S OK TO BE LATE

1.) To your Wedding. This is the most perfect time to be late. It's already termed as "your day". You are supposed to make a grand entrance. And NOBODY can or will ever get mad at you. In fact, if and when the day comes for me, I'm planning on walking down the aisle whenever I'm damn ready. You might as well take advantage of it while you can and you can always blame it on the bridesmaids.

2.) Rock Concerts. It's kind of an unspoken rule that you straggle in to concerts. Everyone learns this lesson the hard way. You want to catch the opening band, so you get there right as the door opens. Then, you stand there, alone, in front of the stage. And when the opening band comes out, you feel awkward because it's almost like they're singing to you, since you're the only one there, but you feel rude walking away. So, you just kind of stand there and gaze at them, and sip your beer, occasionally nodding your head to the music because it gives you a chance to avert your eyes.

3.) To the Party. There's nothing wrong with this. As long as you actually get to the party. I bought a cell phone, got cable, read Harry Potter, started drinking, got my drivers' license at least five years after everybody else did. But, the important thing is that I got there.

4.) When you're already late. Look, if you're already going to disrupt the event or walk into the office after 9 a.m., you might as well make it fashionable and not walk in all frenzied.

WHEN IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT OK TO BE LATE

1.) To Someone Else's Wedding. My mother's nightmare, which she has instilled in me by incessant nagging, is to get to a wedding at the same time that the bride is walking down the aisle. First of all, the bride is disappointed that you've already seen her in her dress and have missed the above-referenced grand entrance. Plus, when you walk in late, you feel really self-conscious as it is...then you add silence, hardwood floors, and heels. And then your mom gives you that "I'm so disappointed in you" look. That last one might just be me.

2.) Surprise Parties. Similar to the wedding scenario, my mother will get equally upset with you if you walk into a surprise party at the same time as the person who's being surprised. They see you in the parking lot, then they see some familiar cars, and they piece it all together before they get inside. And all that hard work that the party planner put into it is ruined because you couldn't get your act together...or so I've heard.

3.) Plays. Don't you hate those people that get to the theater after the curtain goes up? The usher with the flashlight is distracting. Your view is blocked by the people standing up to let them through to their seat. If they're in your row, they almost always step on your foot or knock over your things. Don't be those people.

4.) When You're Dating This Girl. As more and more people read this blog, they begin to share their own horror dating stories (which I love, so if you have any...send my way!). My cousin told me about a time when he was set up with a girl by a mutual friend of theirs. Some of this may be paraphrased, but here's the gist of the story. They had planned to go out to lunch. That morning, my cousin's errands took him a little longer than he expected, so he texted the girl and asked her if they could move the date from noon to 1 p.m. She texted back "sure". My cousin showed up to her place around 1:07 p.m. She came out of her house with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. After a few minutes of awkward silence following the "nice to meet you"s, my cousin asked her if something was wrong. She asked him, "What did you have to do this morning?" And my cousin said, "I just had a couple of things to do." And she responded, "You know what? I don't feel very comfortable going out now. I thought you had something important to do and that's why you were late." And with that, she turned around and went back into the house, leaving my cousin in the driveway. No word on whether there was a second date.