1.) I talk about computer games like they're real. I've realized something this week. I've been way too harsh on role-playing gamers who dress up like elves or fairies or whatever and have pretend battles in middle-school soccer fields. I do it, too! Well, not the pretend battle thing. But, after playing so many Nancy Drew computer games, I actually problem-solve like I'm Nancy Drew to figure things out now. And I think about Ned, and my best friends, Bess and George, and how much I miss them when I don't get to talk to them and...I digress. Bottom line is that I'm not that different from Eolain the Elder, or Jobias the Wizard, or Brian the Farmer or whatever.
2.) I start fights with people on okcupid. If it hasn't come across in my writing, I can be a bit sarcastic. And I also have a bad habit of not being able to let things go, as I've mentioned before. So, every once in a while I come across a dating profile and I can't help but write to that person and make some joke about why it sucks. For example, the other night, I came across a profile where the guy didn't have anything really to say about himself, but just had a bunch of links to youtube videos of awful music that he's made. Of course, this prompted me to send him a message that said, "Is this your dating profile or your music promotion page? Tough to say." To which I received a pretty nasty response, too juvenile to repeat here. Admittedly, I probably deserved a nasty response. But, why can't you just promote your horrible music on bandcamp or something and leave us daters alone? Anyway, if I stop spending my time instigating internet arguments, I may be able to find the right person.
3.) I have a Seinfeld and/or Saved by the Bell reference for any given situation. At a speed dating event recently, I had a conversation kinda like this:
Date: So, we only have 8 minutes! I have a very important question. What's your favorite cookie?
Me: Oh! I have to say chocolate chip. What's yours?
Date: I'm partial to the black and white.
Me: (thinking that he's bringing this up to see if we connect over Seinfeld) Aren't you worried about ruining your vomit streak?
Date: (with a blank stare) ...
Me: (thinking that I may be wrong) You know. Seinfeld? 'How's your stomach?' 'I've got David Duke and Farrakhan down there.'?
Date: (looking at me as if I had gotten his number from an AIDS walk list) Oh. I don't watch Seinfeld.
Me: ...oh. (muttering under my breath) where is that guy with the whistle...
That was the first time that I started to think that maybe it was me? As Elaine says, "Is it possible I'm not as attractive as I think I am?"
4.) I hang out a lot one-on-one with straight-acting gay men. One of my very best friends happens to be male and happens to be gay. However, unless you have extremely attuned gaydar, you wouldn't know that he was gay unless you had an extensive conversation with him, in which he brings up how many guys he's banged. We do a lot of things together. Go to concerts. Go out to dinner. Go to Red Sox games. And we see a lot of friendly and cute men...and I'm beginning to think that these friendly and cute men may mistake us for a couple. The next time we go out, I may ask my BF (dammit, best friend, not boyfriend!) to wear hot pants and a tank top, so that there's no room for error.
5.) I denounced an entire religion for ten years based on a very small sample size. I would say about 77% of the words that come out of my mother's mouth are either, "wish", "settle", "down", "nice", "Jewish", or "boy". She wanted me to go to college, so that I could be independent. But, I think that she secretly was hoping I would end up with both a BA and a MRS degree. And so, she did everything within her power to push me toward Brandeis where all her dreams would come true. However, I had been to our temple. I had the mistaken view that all Jewish men were "not my type". And I fell in love with Tufts during a campus visit and went there instead (although Tufts and Brandeis probably aren't that far apart in the "we have Jews" competition). I never wanted to date a Jewish guy. I avoided the Hillel Center. I shunned any "Jewish singles" events that happened during college and throughout my 20's. And then I learned...that Gabe Kapler existed:
I don't think that using Seinfeld or Saved by the Bell regularly in conversation is a bad thing, in fact, it's probably an effective filter. If someone doesn't get the black and white cookie reference, you don't want to date them anyway!
ReplyDelete- Jackie
You are right!! From now on, I'll work it into every conversation to determine compatibility.
Delete