Port Chuck's fans Hit Higher Decibel than Bieber's

Did you know that soap opera stars like to sing 80's monster hits? Did you know that middle-aged women like to shed their sweatpants, don shiny sequined shirts, and dance and scream to a level rivaling any tween with Bieber Fever? Did you know that it's possible to sing Whitesnake's Here I Go Again badly? I learned all of these things and more at the Port Chuck concert last Friday night at the Wilbur Theatre.

Port Chuck is made up of four actors from General Hospital: Steve Burton, Scott Reeves, Brandon Barash, and Bradford Anderson. Basically, they travel across the country with a backup band and sing rock covers. When my sister, Stacy, asked me to go, I said yes immediately. I just couldn't pass up a chance to see this phenomenon in person. Plus, Steve Burton is super hot.

The band members came out first. They had a guitarist, bass player, keyboardist and a drummer. I quickly exclaimed to my sister, "Oh awesome, they have a female keyboardist!" However, when the stage lights came on, I realized that it was a just a guy who should rethink his haircut. The Soap Guys came out next. One by one. And the women screamed...loudly.

The music started and the guys lined up in front of the stage with four stand-up microphones. They sang (awkwardly) and danced (badly). It was reminiscent of the time when I watched some Theta Delta Chi brothers sing karaoke at one of their house parties. They would sing into the mikes, and during the breaks in lyrics, while the music played, they'd look awkwardly at each other and sorta hop around the stage. I think that this all could be fixed by hiring a choreographer. So, I'm surprised that after they've been touring for a few years now, they haven't done that. To add to the weirdness, at times, it was like the audience wasn't really there. Every once in a while, they would notice the screaming and blow a kiss or do something that induced more screaming. They sang such hits as the Outfield's Your Love, Springsteen's Born to Run, and more I'm sure...except I left early, so I couldn't tell you about them.

During the show, I noticed a few things. Scott Reeves seemed like he was high on something, and I don't think it was "life". Audience members seem to get up and go to the bathroom during country songs. Also, it is possible for bouncers and security at a rock concert to look even more bored than I originally thought they could.

I have to say that the sheer hilarity of it all did make it pretty fun to watch. My only disappointment is that Steve Burton kind of lost some of his hotness for me. I just can't handle it when people put their finger to their ear a la Christina Aguilera when they sing. I don't think that it does anything except make me laugh. He did it a few times. And I wish he hadn't. Because he's so pretty.

All in all, the next time they whisk through your town on their white motorcycles with the wind blowing through their luscious locks, you might want to check them out for the experience. Just lower your expectations in terms of performance and go into it much as you would a Harlequin romance novel.