The Whirlwind Romance of Mr. 27 and Melly J.

Mr. 27, whom, as you may remember, I met on okcupid, and I had a beautiful six-day relationship that started last Thursday and ended Wednesday. We had made plans for Sunday to watch football and hang out. But, that day (Thursday), we were so excited to meet each other that we decided to grab a drink in Central Square, before his other plans later that night. [Note: I'm pretty sure that his other plans were another date, but I'm a modern woman, so I was ok with this.]

Thursday was a nice time. We met at Tavern in the Square. While he is very handsome, I wasn't sure about our connection. He rides the pedicab to pay the bills, but what he really wants to do is music. I respect his passion for it, but I've since come across some of his lyrics during a routine facebook stalk, and...I'm not sure that they make sense. I couldn't stop focusing on the fact that I was drinking a pint of IPA and he was drinking a whiskey sour through a straw. He wears a fedora...a lot. He has a tattoo on his neck that means "face". He received a lot of texts during our date. I couldn't help but notice that a girl's picture popped up every time and I couldn't help but think it's because he has trouble keeping us straight. But, as I said before, he's really hot.

On Friday night, he came over to my place to hang out, and this is where it all went wrong. We were snuggling. I began to fall asleep in his arms. He began to fall asleep. And then...I sleep-tooted. Look! It happens! Women have bodily functions, I'm sorry. Sometimes we eat too much cheese and we're gassy. It's just the way it is. However, I was mortified! I darted up and looked over at him quickly to see if he had heard it. I couldn't tell. His breathing was heavy, but he could have been faking. I obsessed about it the entire night. Did he hear? Was he totally grossed out by me? Then, to make matters worse, before he left my place, he went to use the bathroom, and came back looking sort of green. After he left, I went into my bathroom and saw why. My vindictive cat, mad at me for daring to bring someone into our personal space, had left a turd on the floor.

Needless to say, I didn't think that I'd hear from Mr. 27 again. And when he cancelled on me on Sunday, I was sure that we were done. Imagine my surprise when I got a text from him last night. Now that I had a couple of days to think about what had happened, I saw the humor in it. I thought that laughing it off was probably a good way to make it less awkward. So, I brought it up. I misjudged Mr. 27's sense of humor. He didn't think it was as funny as I did and let me know. And I haven't heard from him since. But, it's a consolation that maybe he'll write an awful song about us someday.