The Jerky Murse

There are two things that you need to know about me before I tell this story. One, I love the Red Sox. While I’m doing my best to pretend that the 2012 season never existed and hoping that it will be swept under the diamond green, I still love the Red Sox. Two, I went to law school and it comes in handy.

In the summer of 2008, I had two tickets to an afternoon game at Fenway Park. I was having difficulty finding someone to come with me for some reason. It might have been because it was a weekday game. It might have been because I waited too long to ask someone to go. Whatever the reason, with the game a few days away and still no one to go with, I decided to sell the tickets on Craigslist. I was really disappointed that I would miss my guys, but I had a couple of other games to go to that summer, so I figured I could afford to miss one.

I placed an ad on Craigslist that I was selling the tickets at face value. The first guy to respond ended his email with “It’s supposed to be such a great day! I’m surprised that you’re giving them up!” I responded to him by saying, “Aw, I wanted to go, but no one can make it.” That started a conversation that ended with him saying, “Well, I don’t know who to ask. If you want, we can go to the game together?” and sending me a picture of himself. He was very cute. He was a male nurse. And he was a Sox fan. I agreed that we should make it a date.

We texted back and forth a few times leading up to game day. The Murse was funny and charming, but something seemed off. My “a-hole-o-meter” was reading a bit higher than normal.

We had made plans to meet at the Cask and Flagon before the game at 11:30. The game started at one. At 11:30 on the dot, I stood in front of the bar, waiting for him. When 11:45 came and he hadn’t shown up, I called and left a voice mail message asking where he was. At 12:00, I called again and said, “Look, if you’re going to stand me up, just let me know so that I can try to sell the tickets to a scalper before it’s too late.” At 12:45, I realized that he wasn’t coming. I didn’t quite know what to do. I was excited to go to the game, but I didn’t want to sit by myself.

Well, sometimes fate smiles on me and the universe gives me what I ask for. Right at that moment, I received a text from Sally that said, “You’re not at Fenway today, are you?” It turns out that Sally had gotten standing room only tickets at the last minute. And I had an extra seat. So, Sally came to sit with me and we enjoyed the game together!

I wasn’t going to let the Murse get off that easy though. The typical lawyer response when someone gets screwed is to send a demand letter. When I got home, I sent the Murse this:

As I mentioned in my voicemail, I offered you a
ticket. You accepted in writing. As such, we have a contract.
You have breached it by not performing your obligation. The
face value of the ticket is $50.00. Please pay check
or money order to:

Melly J.

[Address]

Please pay by July 31, 2008 to avoid litigation. Be advised that if we
go to small claims court, I will pursue every legal
remedy available, including court costs. Also, I will
notify Craigslist and provide your personal
information and inform them that you have reneged on
past contracts, which will likely make it difficult for you
to make purchases in the future.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Melly J., Esq.

And a few days later, (after some nasty voicemail messages left for me on my cell) the Murse sent me a check for $50.00. Let this be a lesson to you, readers. Whenever somebody stands you up, send them a threatening letter and shake them for cash.